| ...I'm not the only one with Ups and Downs... Am I? |
[entries|friends|calendar] |
|
| Quote from Nathan Perdomo! |
[17 Dec 2004|05:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 I love Nathan! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Foreigner Juke Box Hero |
] |
"If it's an ice cream flavor, it's a color!"
|
|
| Four-wheelin'! |
[24 Oct 2004|03:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 BLAH |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Brad Paisley... |
] |
So It's been a while. The past week has been great. We had two days of school how much better can that get? Other than not having school not much! Anyway.. So Monday was monday.. Tuesday was ok. I went home with T.J. I forget what we did.. prolly just watched TV I think Jeremy was prolly over. Wednesday I have no clue what went on. I know I got up freakin' early. But w/e. Thursday we went shopping I got a TV and three new pairs of jeans and a new pair of shoes. Then I went to the middle school game with TJ and Jeremy. Friday was awesome! I got up early and mom and I went to walmart and then to AT&T and then to look at my car! I love that thing. I can't wait until I go buy it. Then I went to guitar. St. Patrick's Day is going good. I was surprised tho since I didn't practice all week. Then T.J. came up and we went to the football game. It was ok.. Kuh-ayla brought James or Jamie. He's so nice. Then we (TJ, myself, Kuh-ayla, Jamie, and Nathan) went bowling!!!! That was GREAT!! I think it will become a habbit. It was soooo much fun. I didn't do too bad. I was beating TJ for lke half of the first game but in the end he won. But not by much. It was soo fun. I thought Todd and Erik might show up but they never came... It was ok tho.
Saturday.. ahh what a day. I woke up and helped mom clean up my new room. Then I played with Champ and by that time it was like 2 so I got in the shower and TJ came up around 3:30 or so and talked to dad for ALONG time... Me and my sister shot the B B GUN for a while that was fun!! I've never done that b4 and I loved it. I'm such a hick .. oh well. When TJ and dad got done "deer hunting" as mom and I call it he and I went back to his house to ride the fourwheeler... WELL. That was the MOST interesting part of my weekend I do have to say... We went and the fourwheeler breaks down. So TJ was like well its the spark plug so we try to change it but yeah that didn't go to well. So these ppl come out. It just so happens that the guy knows TJ's grandpa who was best friends with my grandpa when they were younger(it's a small world) And the guy was really nice. He fixed the fourwheeler so we kept riding and then it broke down AGAIN!!! Ok let me mention that TJ didn't have a cell phone on him the first time we broke down bc I asked him like twice if he was SURE he didn't have his moms phone on him... He didn't... lol. So this kid was like did you all break down and we're like yeah and he's like well you can use my phone.. but he lived all the way at the end of this road so we rode his bike and called for us.. but when TJ and I got back to the fourwheeler it started up for us so we rode back to the top of the hill and it broke down again luckily his dad was on his so so we were good.. let me say one more time he was SURE he didn't have a phone... So his dad got there and we went home.. We get to his house and we're gettin the fourwheeler off the truck and TJ goes OMG!!! You've gotta be kiddin' me! Look at this. And he pulls his mom's cell phone outta his pocket!!! I laughed for so long... I mean it was soo freakin hilarious!!! It was the greatest thing...
After I stopped laughin' we went in and watched some TV then ate then tried to watched a movie with his parents but we didn't concentrate very hard on it. Tho I did know what was going on and understood the movie I didn't know any of the ppl's names lol it was funny. Then we watched the end of the Boston vs. St. Louis game. I understand baseball!! GO ME!!! LOL. Then we took me home.
Today I went to church. I had nursery so it wasn't too bad. Then went to grandma's. TJ is on his way up I'm gonna help him with his math. And do my own h/w.. I gotta go clean.
Love,
Dorkie
|
|
| poems.. |
[18 Oct 2004|06:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 .. blah |
] |
i've had the most wonderful past... however many days since i updated!
TJ and I are doing good. Great. Actually. I love him. He makes me really happy and we always havea good time.
So Friday we went to the game. It was fun we took Kayla. I was bein redneck and wore TJ's camo jacket! It was fun. We had interesting convo's... Then we went to Fox's then to the elem. school and ate. TJ came over Saturday and we watched the others.. he liked it. I had the PSAT Saturday b4 TJ came over.. It was ok. Erik brought me home. That was fun.. I love Erik He's great! He's up there on my list with Nathan and Derek. They're great guys!
Sunday I didn't h/w... My dad and grandpa and grandma found out that I have my belly button peirced... OMG I almost freaked.. but it was ok they were cool with it..
Today was a Monday. The best part about it was it rained.. It was a crappy rain at the end of the day.. but it was rain. I was happy. Honors was my best class today bc we read poetry. Robert Frost is a GREAT poet and so is Langston Hughes. Anyway... Thats about it.
Love,
Dorkie..
Comment you all.. you never ever comment. Except Kuh-Ayla! Love ya girl.
|
|
| All the world can't stop Him.. |
[06 Oct 2004|09:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy for once. |
] |
I just got home from church! I love that place. The people. The happiness I have there. The way I know that it will be ok no matter what because I have God on my side.
We gave Rich(the youth pastor) his birthday present. We all chipped in and bought him a digital camera! He was really happy/surprised! Then we had GROSS GAMES!!! LOL It was a blast as youth always is..
I haven't had h/w for the past four days in Algebra II and it's been nice! Yesterday I went home with TJ. Which is always a pleasant ride home on the bus!! LOL His friends are nutcases but you gotta love them. Then we layed around and watched some deer hunting!! I narrated bc we had the volume down and the radio on. It was interesting. Then Jeremy came and his mom got home and we went to his game. That was fun. Nick and Jeremy are hilarious. It's deffinatly never a dull moment!!!
Today I came home baked a cake went to the store and went to church. Now I'm waiting for the bathroom so I can get ready for bed and call TJ. I'm going...
Goodnight.
Love,
Dorkie*
|
|
| Hugging |
[03 Oct 2004|09:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
okay |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Overrated.. Three Days Grace |
] |
"Hugging is the ideal gift... fun to give and receive, shows you care... and, of course, is fully returnable. Hugging is practically perfect. No batteries to wear out, inflation-proof, nongattening, no monthly payments, theft-proof, and nontaxable." Charles Faraone
"Most perople are about as happy as the make up their minds to be." Abraham Lincoln
T.J. just left. He came up after his games which was around 8. We looked at some pictures I have from our 7th grade field trip to Ohio. Then just sat around and talked. He makes me so incredibly happy. I don't know how or why or what it is about him its just him. He's wonderful. He told me not to write anything bad in here about him and I was like "Please, how could I? There's nothing bad to write about you."
I have had a good weekend. Yesterday I was at my grandma's being redneck! Making apple cider and apple butter. I just sorta babysat the boys. I love those kids. Robert is 6, Derek is 4, and Connor is 3. We played "backyard football" as Robert would say and pretended a soccer ball was the football bc we didn't have one. Then we played baseball and Connor is awesome at it! That boy will be really really good one day! He's wonderful. He's so good he's a lil angel. Anyway.. Then I went to praise band practice. I found out why I'm an alto. I'm not a saprano!!! LOL I can't sing high at all. Anyway. Then I went back to grams and we all got in the back of the truck and went to the farm to see the cows. Grandpa let us go in the old store. It was awesome. I haven't been in there in forever. He owns what used to be Scott Depot. The old house, the depot, the store and the post office. It's so awesome I love that place. After that we went back to the house and had dinner then TJ came and picked me up and we came up here so I could change clothes then we went back to his house for about 4 hours or so. We watched American Wedding and then music videos until I left. I came home and went to bed!!
This morning I got up early got to church early for practice then sang. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I love to sing. I'm not all that great. But it's so fun. And when you're doing it for the right thing it can't get much better. I love church. I love the people. Without them I prolly would be in a bad bad state. Afterwards David and I helped put some of the UpStreet stuff in the truck and I talked to Rich. Then we went back to grams. Connor and I played a lil then we ate then Peter(Kayla's Peter LOL) layed upstairs and talked for a long time. I love him!! If he wasn't in the family I'd go crazy. Him and Abby keep me going. We talked about debates and books and movies. Our usual thing. Then Kevin and Tracy left. Then Peter left. Then finally we left. I came home and worked on the debate stuff. Then mom did my intro for me. Then I cleaned my room after I talked to Laken for a while. Then TJ came up...
And then he left... and I'm here. Now I'm going to go wait for him to call me then I'm sleeping... Goodnight.
Love
Dorkie
|
|
| I don't know what it is... |
[02 Oct 2004|12:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Dashboard, Sugarcult(the old stuff) and Sublime... I"m happy |
] |
I don't know what it is
about just being rapped up
in his arms
but I love it.
It's not that
I'm in love.. not yet.
It's too soon for that,
but I'm happy.
And its nice.
He makes me feel
so
complete.
It's like for once
I'm cared for
for the person I am.
Not the person
I seem to be.
I could go on
and on forever.
But I won't.
So yeah... not that that is poetry or anything thats not what I was trying. It's just I can't think in complete sentences because I have so many feelings.
I've decided that the day of my last entry I just had a mental break down. I talked to Kayla about it and everything is good. Things will be fine. It's just life and you have to deal with it and be able to manage it with out getting stressed out and overwhelmed. It good to know I have friends I can talk to and that they can support me. I honestly don't know what I would do without Kayla. and TJ. and Nathan. and Erik. and Derek. and everyone else... But those five ppl just seem to help me so much. ***EDIT: I don't know what I would do without Arian, Bryan, or Caitlin either!***
So the last week has been stressful. Thursday and Today weren't bad. I wasn't home tho. That could be why they were good. and I didn't have any h/w. I went to guitar today and I'm learning St. Patrick's Day by Johnny Clayton. I'm happy. He's so... just me.
Kayla and I went in Mrs. King's room this morning and sat down and wrote the journal. It was nice. I love Mrs. King. I love most of my teachers. Just a select few didn't make an impression on me. Teachers are such an important part of the world and they honestly don't get appreciated as much as they deserve. Where would we be without teachers? Yesterday was Rich's birthday and I didn't call or e-mail him and I feel bad. HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICH!!!
I need to start updating more. This makes me really really happy. Just getting my feelings all out. It's good.
I'm beginning to see that I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm almost 16 which is almost 17 which is almost 18. I'm that close to being an "adult." It's really scary. But it excites me so much at the same time!!!
Ok. I'm going I think. I've let most of my feelings out.
Love you,
Dorkie*
|
|
|
[29 Sep 2004|05:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
boy meets world is on. it's not helping. |
] |
am i such a bad person? why can't I just contol all the things i want to say. why is my familiy so disfunctional as a family. why can't we sit down and just talk and be happy? why do we have to yell and sceam and fight and cry and be so unhappy you just want to runaway and disappear forever. school sucks. i hate intro that class is a waste of my life. w/e his name is mr. young just makes me want to shoot myself. whats school anyway? why do we have to be there learning things that dont matter why can't i just take just what i need to be a successful dr. then go to college and be on my own??? why?? i need to just stop...
|
|
|
[17 Sep 2004|07:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 out of it.. |
] |
yeah well school is school.
i love mike! i love kayla! i love both of my tj's. i love alex! i love all of jonathan's friends!
i'm single.
i always have h/w
i love lunch.
life is good.
i'm sick at the moment.
i'll be ok tho.
i'm going now.
love u bye.
|
|
|
[26 Aug 2004|09:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 dorky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
... my randon thoughts and laughter. |
] |
So..
First day of school. What is there to say about it? It was nice I guess. Jamie Brooks my PIMP is going to WINFIELD!! Yeah!! lol.
My Scheduel..
1st Block.. Honors Algebra II. *(Derek, Erik, Nathan..)
2nd Block.. CATS 10. **(KAYLA and Nathan..)
3rd Block.. Intro. ***(Jonathan..)
4th Block.. Honors English 10. *(Oliva, Erik, Nathan..)
So yeah. I have friends in all my classes and its good. TJ and I share a bottom locker.. we wont go there. But We dont have room for ANY more books. Luckily tho TJ only has like 2 but yeah I have 5 and two trappers.. So its just a lil tight. We'll manage tho...
I got through the day.. There are SOO MANY freshmen. LOL. I had homework and I got it done as soon as I got home and I read a chapter of my novel for English. It's going to be a good book I'm excited!!
Jonathan brought me home and me and him and TJ fought over music lol.. Not really. But it was interesting. Jonathan is a really good driver I'm proud of him I wasn't nervous with him at all. I'm happy.
Thats all. Schools ok. I'm ready for Christmas break.. I wonder how many days it is?? I'll let u know when i count it up. If you already know comment.
The Official END OF SCHOOL COUNT DOWN.
179 days left! Go us!!!
OH YEAH FOOTBALL GAME TOMORRROW!!! BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!! LOL LOL LOL
I'm such a pathetic loser!
Love
Dorkie
|
|
|
[24 Aug 2004|04:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
my parents talking in the kitchen... weird. |
] |
I haven't updated ina while which isn't much of a surprise since I never update anymore.. I dont know why either.. Its not like I dont' have time bc.. I have all kinds of time. I just dont use it wisely... lol
I'm sitting here waiting for Jonathan to call. He and TJ are supposed to come pick me up. Jonathan is 16 today... HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE! He went and got his liscense this morning!! YAY!! I'm going over to hish ouse at 5:30 if he doesn't call b4 then... We'll see.. Him and TJ and I had an interesting convo last night.. LOL It was great. I love those two!!!
I went school shopping yesterday and got a bunch of new clothes and I got my BERKS!! I love them!!!
Well thats about it. I can't wait for school to start. Hate me all you want but I like school deal with it.
Love
Dorkie
|
|
|
[18 Aug 2004|12:35am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
great.. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Coverd in Rain. Johnny. |
] |
yeah so i come to read journals and there are WAY too many updates to read... i'm sorta sorry im not in band bc it seem like u all have ur own lil world that no one else can possibly understand. but its nice. i like to read about it lol...
reading journals while listening to john is nice. he's so great. i love him. kayla and i are moving to kentucky to live in the center of a circle on the side of a square.. yeah..
|
|
|
[04 Aug 2004|09:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
up on tootsie rolls or not... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
john in my head... and kayla singing him |
] |
I LOVE JOHN MAYER!!!
Happy Jamie? I love you too...
|
|
|
[16 Jul 2004|12:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
WHOA |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ice Ice Baby!!! |
] |
This is interesting.. I haven't updated in a while. I haven't been home again! Let me tell you about this week...
Sunday at around 4:30 my great aunt picked my sister and I up and took us back to her house in Mason County to visit our cousins! We stayed there until Tuesday... We had LOTS of fun in between too much to type... Then Tuesday We all came to my house and they spent the night with us! Well we were going to camp out on the trampoline so we set up the tent ... while we were doing that Caleb who is almost 13 goes... well this puts a new meaning to "Jumping on the bed"! LoL it was great! Then we went to the Nitro pool and swam for a while then we came home and got all the crap out in the tent... We stayed out there until about 12 and we were afraid it would rain on us and my sister and Molly who is 8 were scared so we just all came in and slept in thefloor lol... Then Wednesday we took them to their Aunt Janets... I then went to Walmart and bought all kinds of junk for Florida! We went and picked up Chris and came home and I packed a lil... Then we went to church... Came hom ewent to sleep.
Thursday went to the mall got a bathing suit for Florida and three new bras and a pair of sweat pants from Steve and Barry's.... I came hom eate dinner and went to Laken's with Chris ... Got his money and went to Walmart!... Bought the radio for his mom's car. We then went to the DQ and got me a Mocha Moolatte Brian was working so I said hey to him... Then we went to Chris's and I was there until 10:59 workin gon the radio that was FUN! lol then I went to sleep. I got up this morning EARLY bc i couldn't sleep and packed... I gotta go buy a pillow and maybe a purse if I can find one and then I'm ready to go!
I won't be back until the 25th... dont miss me too much!
I migh tupdate again buti doubt I get to it... I love you guys!! I'll miss you!
Love
Madora
|
|
|
[09 Jul 2004|07:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
so yeah i'm sitting in jonathan's room while he is in the shower... he's leaveing for the beach tomorrow and i'm sad. i'm sure he'll have fun but i'm still sad i'll be alright tho. i leave for florida a week from tomorrow... i'm sorta nervous a lil anyway... but i'll update more later
love
madora
|
|
|
[07 Jul 2004|10:34am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Hoping.. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Johnny is in my head does that count?? |
] |
So I haven't updated in a while. I haven't been home bc I've been everywhere else.. like out with Chris or out with Chris and Laken or over at Jamie's at like 10:30p.m. having some margarita ice or however u spell it... LOL!!! (I LOVE YOU GUYS!)
Yesterday I went to the wave pool with Laken and Chris... Derek and Brett were there and Charlie showed up finally! I love Charlie he's so great lol... Anyway then around 12:30ish or 1 I called arian and told him to come to the pool but he didn't know what he was talking about then and he said he didn't know if he could come but later he did show up! LoL... so we had a good time... Derek kept following me everywhere and it was weird he kept telling me I was hot and that was weird too... later we left, went to Chris's and then to Wendy's to see Chris Slate bc Laken wanted to and we were hungry! After that we came to my house so I could change clothes and all then we went to Lakens to watch movies or w/e.. We started the Secret Window but we never finished it.. I personally think it's a stupid movie but "w/e peels your banana"(LOL) is cool. Then Laken and Chris and I were being "bad" children and Alayna was spraying us with water to make us stop.. and telling us "This is a Christ house none of that inside it go outside if you're going to do that" lol and we were telling her how we'd show her what "slow motion" was LOL LOL LOL... (great times)
Anyway... Then ..... Came over and we went up to Laken's new house to show him. That wa an interesting trip. Later I came home. I talked to Jonathan for about 10 minutes... Then I talked to Chris for a lil bit then I talked to Charlie for about an hour and a half or something like that. That was fun! Thats all the details you'll be getting. Then I talked to Chris again then I went to bed!
I got burnt at the pool yesterday and that sucks! But I'm doing ok with that now bc it doesn't hurt as bad as it did yesterday...
I got my hair cut umm Friday. It's short but not too short! I like it Mom hates it! It's all good.
So I think I might be going to Jonathan's today and tomorrow and Friday because he is going to the beach Saturday and won't be back til the 17th which is when I leave for Florida! And I'll be gone for nine days so we can't see each other for a lil over two weeks... ... Thats sad! Anyway ...
I just got out of the shower and I need to go dry my hair so I will.
Love you
Madora
COMMENT PLEASE!
|
|
|
[28 Jun 2004|12:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
so i'm confused. i like jonathan but i love chris but i don't want to be with chris... not really. i'm ready to move on.
Chris sent me 6 beautiful pink roses today. It would be our One year anniversary. I had to ruin it.
I didn't get him anything I feel bad but i'll get him something in time... I have to go.
Love you
Madora
|
|
|
[20 Jun 2004|05:50pm] |
|
So... Chris and I got into a BIG fight. The biggest fight. It was awful. He said the meanest things to me and I know I said the meanest things back. But you know we have to be over... not act like we're dating and not be dating.... It was unfair of me to treat him how I've been treating him since we broke up. And I told him. I like Jonathan! I'm sorry if I've moved on too fast but I like him and he likes me. We're not going to date yet. Just because I'm not ready for that. But still I shouldn't do things with Chris and lead him on. And I just figured it was like I was using him for the past week and a half and he deserves so much better than that. But he didn't understand because he wants me to understand that he knows that we are meant for each other.... So yeah we got into it. And he said two very awful things and made me feel like a hoe and like crap and I couldn't even talk I was crying so much... And Laken who is my love counselor is outta town. And everyone else was asleep bc it was like 1:30... but I knew I could count on Jamie so I called her and talked for all of 5 minutes and he beeped through so I took it. We talked for another hour/hour and a half. And we were still fighting and it sucked but this is for the best. I love him and I always will. But he was just so mean that it will take a while for me to forgive him completely. And I'll completely understand if it takes him a while to forgive me because I know I was just as mean... and I'm sorry.
I was writing this for Chris yesterday before our fight... and I dunno to understand how I feel I think I should put it here.
Dear Chris,
Hey baby. I’m writing this to you to let you know how I feel and to let myself know how I feel because I’m not really sure.
I love you. That’s plain and simple. I know that and in a way have always known that. I am always going to love you and I won’t ever be able to love anyone the way that I’ve loved you. It’s just things have changed. It’s not that I don’t love you anymore. It’s just that… I feel like I need to experience a different kind of love… a different person… a different passion. I’m not sure if that makes much sense but… It’s like how do I know if you’re the right person for me if I stop seeing different people when I’m so young. I want new experiences in my life. I understand that you have it all figured out and you know I’m for you, and I’m sorry that I can’t be so certain but I can’t. Not now. It’s not that I’m sick of you. That’s not it at all. I’m just ready for something new.
I hope that you can understand that. And I hope that you can handle what I’m saying next.
You know how I said that you are mean to me? Well you are. I don’t care how many people you ask and I don’t care if they all have the same answer and they all say that you’re not mean. At times you are. I guess. I know that you are sorry but it doesn’t take the hurt away. All the people you ask don’t know how you make me feel at times so they would say that you’re not mean to me…
^^^^^^^^THIS IS BEFORE THE FIGHT^^^^^^^^
I’m sorry that this is how I feel… but it is. And after last night there is so much more.
That’s all I can say about this right now… Thanks for listening.
Love,
Madora
|
|
| ... me sweet innocent? what? |
[19 Jun 2004|02:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 horny?? NO! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the eagles |
] |
yeah so i forgot to tell you all about the wonderful threesome that I had with Laken adn Chris.
We were on Lakens couch and Alayna and her friend Alex were sitting in the chairs in the livingroom when for some reason Alayna gets the camera. So me and laken are like well chris you like like a pimp and we look like ur hoes... So we put our legs across him and posed for the picture...
Then Laken was like man... It's weird how I can make ...... so horny just by doing this and she started rubbing right above chris's pants on his stomach and I was like yeah well I can make him more horny like this... and started doing what she was doing only ... lower. LOL
Anyway. So then we started rubbing his ears. and lol it was great and he was Like STOP STOP STOP so alayna put some pillows on his lap and said... I don't want to see that lol. so then laken was like yeah one time... and told us a story ... and we were like well Chris how'd you enjoy that.. and then we told Jamie the next day that we had a wonderful threesome. Then we told Brandon and it ticked him off... lol so i had to tell him like I'm telling you now that it was all just a joke!
Love you.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
fromtheheart628's journal
